Warning: This is a long post that has not been edited. Just emotion and a keyboard.
I got inspired to write a bit about heaven. Did a Google image search for the word “heaven”. Try it. Funny. So, what’s heaven to me? I don’t know. Probably Micki and Grace. But the New Jack is a pretty cool representation of what goes on inside me.
I’ve always loved New York City. I’ve always wanted to live there. Work there. Influence there. Live the big city life. I’m listening to my iPod now and defaulted to Steven Curtis Chapman. Listening to a song I really haven’t liked before. It’s called “Last Day On Earth.”
Here’s the lyric:
Last Day on Earth
I pull over to the side of the road and I watch the cars pass me by / The headlights and a black limousine tell me someone is saying goodbye /
I bow my head and I whisper a prayer, "Father, comfort their broken hearts" / And as I drive away there’s a thought that I / I cannot escape, No I, I cannot escape this thought / I can’t get away
Oh, if this should be my last day on this earth / How then shall I live? / Oh, if this should be the last day that I have / Before I breathe the air of heaven / Let me live it with abandon to / The only thing that remains / After my last day, here on earth
If this should be my last day here on earth / If this should be my last day here on earth / If this should be my last, last day here on earth
And if tomorrow comes to find me / Looking in the face of Jesus /
Will I hear Him say the words "well done"?
Oh, if this should be mylast day on this earth How then shall I live? / Oh, if this should be the last day that I have /Before I breathe the air of heaven / Let me live it with abandon to The only One that remains / After my last day Here on earth
If this should be my last day here on earth / If this should be my last, my last day here on earth
Cause this could be mylast, this could be my last This could be my last day
Wow. The message: If you had only one day left, how would you spend it? I’m getting pretty emotional now, because there would be so many things that I think about and focus on that aren’t really important. Things that aren’t eternal. I’m not a regular Bible reader. Not even close. I pray, but not with passion or aggression. I’m doing some good things. Doing my best. But sometimes the Tyranny of the Urgent gets in the way.
I’m thinking of relationships that I have that aren’t right. And lately I’m coming in contact with friends who have parents who are passing away. One of my friends at work was telling me that almost as bad is seeing his dad have multiple strokes and being a shell of who he was. As I think about it, I’ve heard lots of the words “cancer”, “death”, “hospitals”, and it causes me to think. What if this were my last day on Earth? How would I leave planet Earth?
I want to go out in a blaze. Not a whimper. I want to ride off into the sunset of life with NO REGRETS. I often joke about “sucking the marrow out of life.” –See Dead Poet’s Society— But regardless of where faith lines up on the scale, life needs to be lived. And life without love is not worth living. Love for people and for God.
What about you? I’m thinking seriously of making some phone calls, trips, and letters to clear air and burdens. Make things right, or make sure that my heart is clear. For the few who read my ramblings, you know that most of the time, I’m posting pics and fun stories about life. But you all know life is not a magazine.
If my life ended today, what would I do different? I think I’m going to make some changes. I’d love to hear maybe some feedback or comments on this emotional outburst of words.